So much of life continues to increase the value and structure of knowing peace on a level that is soley for you. Begining to wonder if the matrix is glitching.

As I sit here listening to the *when you're feeling lonely - playlist by Bobby Nsenga he's good at placing you at a point of deep thought and simply working the Rubix cube that is our beautiful but complex life. A lot becomes apparent when we are faced with decisions, feelings and thoughts of our why and when and Hows. Decided I need to lighten the mood a little by lighting a stick of sandalwood incense. 

What a spectacular weekend I had with the most amazing people the energy was so right like I still don't believe it was real, it was like the perfect heaven-sent set of experiences I needed, to breathe, to sigh, to laugh, to love and to remember why life is an important balance that should be experiential to the highest level and success of your own. I giggled a lot this weekend and I was present because then again what has passed and what is to come doesn't exist in the now. SO BE THERE. So I was. lol 

The Balance comes in when you are faced with certain experiences in the opposite energy level stated above. I think a lot, I'm a thinker. lol, ask anyone who knows me. So I was faced with a level of uncertainty and I was like okay so circumventing* life is basically putting yourself in a position of understanding that anything could happen anytime and anywhere.

So what did I do, I decided at this very moment I'm just going to do everything that requires my full attention and presence. I sat back and buckled up. Chose the road id to focus on and just be there. Also sometimes I feel it helps to surround yourself with people who understand, care, love, and appreciate your level of existence fully. Danced my Ass Off in short! Almost dyed my hair, it is the queer reset button. At least for me. For Now. Who knows it might become a Birkin Bag addiction. 

We were finally done with work that fine Saturday and I simply just felt a certain feeling of angst, I was immediately perplexed and I thought to myself let's dispel this feeling, I took an easy ride home, enjoyed the scorching heat, such an unexpected Saturday afternoon, stop for some well deserved retail therapy, arrived at 6:30 pm hoped into the shower and then again and I stop and sit and ask myself what is going on. I decided yet again to let us dispel this feeling once again. Eyes were smoky, Lips were glowy, Cheeks were Blinding and the Face card never declines, but what it was was that all-black fit that was SICKENING! Ate it Up! 

I met some fabulous queers and let me tell you it was such a joy to see how much more space we are taking and showing up fully as ourselves. Shout it as loud as you are comfortable but take up the space.

Take life as seriously as a dandelion go where the wind takes you, allow room for both conflicting scenarios to exist in your day-to-day because you can't control it, you cant be free of it and also why not because this is the moment you decide what you want to focus on, you have to power to prioritize what road you want to take. that doesn't mean you can go take one as far as you can and circumvent the other road. Still truly at your own pace. This weekend I managed to dance, breathe, sigh, laugh, love, giggle and remember why I choose to Live because being is all you'll ever need. we have reached the peak of one of his playlists ( minute 27:01. The lyrics are literally about all us unicorns!


* Usually Like 40 min or so.Like believe me so perfect and in the videos he sits with you listening.Seriously check him out! 

*Oxford dictionary defintion:find a way around (an obstacle). OR overcome (a problem or difficulty), typically in a clever and surreptitious way.

Feizal Ahmed

5 Blog posts

odra 42 w

Such a beautiful read💖💖💖