They found out and now we here! An in depth look at the trials and tribulations of modern day queerness.

As i lay their partially dressed in bed still enjoying my slumber early one morning, deep in a dream with my consistent complicated dream boyfriend Thor, my DND went off all of a sudden and I pondered and thought okay which BITCH FINNA REMOVE ME FROM MY DREAMS! I glanced at my phone still hazy from my dream I see a call from a friend I answer "what do you want this late at night?" To their reply "what do you mean late at night watu Wako Kazi girl?!, Anyway the video is up and go share thanks tihi bye!", Scrolled through the internet found the video and to my surprise, it was finally OUT. 

I was so elated, I felt a weight on my shoulders lift, the anxiety I was carrying in my stomach for months finally subsided and I knew at that very one moment my whole life is going to change and now it's out of the bird cage and soaring high in the sky like a PHONEIX free to spread its rainbow coloured wings but not like a neon rainbow but like a beautiful metallic-Esque colour(also not because I don't like neon but I much prefer metallic-Esque colours). Anyway, lets resume, so I woke up, got through my morning routine, meditate, read, smoke up, face mask, drink water, work out, and brunch, then we get into the vibes of the day and now that it was already so early in the am I was done just before 2 pm. lol yes time is a construct for me so please don't @ me. also, WHO GONE CHECK ME!. I was free to be as gay as I wanted and I was free to be just me because now finally everyone and anyone can see what I truly feel about being QUEER AND PROUD!

Now that was the calm before the storm, a few days later I'm out with my gworls and we sipping vibing and being total menaces and i notice my phone has an influx of messages that I wasn't too sure where they're coming from but alas I ignored it because I'm a person whos about living in the present moment and enjoying it for what it is and exactly why I'm there. Got home early the next day slept most of the day and decided it definitely about time to respond to all of this. some of the messages were encouraging, beautiful and loving but some were unnecessary i didn't worry too much until now my more conservative side had slightly less loving things to say and reiterate. I didn't care but all of a sudden the anxiety in my stomach was back, the weight on my shoulders was heavier than ever and I was back to a push and pull with myself. No one can ever tell you what to expect from the future but also no one can tell you how to feel about the present your body chooses sometimes and that was the case, I dropped off all socials because I felt exposed, and I was wondering how and who is making my business theyre own.


I de tire, please! I have a couple of mottos I live by - the one that came to mind for me was "Live your Life for you and Leave others to Live Their Life for themselves" 


Feizal Ahmed

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